Throughout my life, I’ve acted out postponement in relation to so many things. Sometimes there is a good enough reason of course, but most of the time, the reasoning is bogus, and feeling based. You know the deal, I don’t FEEL like it, along with some excuse of rather doing what I do feel like. which is the act of postponement. I did some osho cards tonight, and I drew the card of postponement. And I realized immediately that it’s about my lack of consistency to writing.
I also like the descriptiveness regarding the card, where the phrase, ”tomorrow never comes” is mentioned. And that is what I always say to myself with regards to putting things off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my time within bogus excuses based on feeling like not wanting to do something. Instead of realizing that I can easily push myself beyond that limitation by acting contrary to what my backchat is saying, hence proving to myself that I do not need to be defined by thoughts, feelings, emotions, and backchat but direct myself beyond the confines of self imposed limitations in the mind by acting on what I see would be ideal to challenge myself in such moments.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how postponement is an act of giving up on oneself, in that I’m placing myself as less than the mind, and not acting within and out regarding what is physically, practically possible in each moment of breath, but acting in the limitation of separation from what my capabilities can be and become if I stand in and as the self directive principle of what is best for me as all as one.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make postponement this big hurtle to overcome in my life through excuses and justifications that it’s more to it, than it really is. Instead of realizing that it’s simply about making a decision, and going for it despite of whatever experience is ”holding” me back.